great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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