Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
