he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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