Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish you could order shots online.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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