yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
