how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
