the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
