Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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