Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
