We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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