My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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