i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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