I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
