Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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