so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
