look no pants
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His nipple licking is glorious
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