Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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