I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
