TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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