I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
