She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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