You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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