hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize