I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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