96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
