omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize