I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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