Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize