He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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