I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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