let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
