Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
