How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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