I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize