Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
