You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
