so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
