Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
