My hand turned me down
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
