woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
