Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
