Who did Billy Mays play for?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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