You work out of a Hotel?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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