we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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