she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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