someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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