We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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