We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
