im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
