So drunk its hurt
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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