You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
