Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
