brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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