That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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