Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
drinking out of a sandbucket again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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