Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She said her name was "party"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
