Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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