We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize