Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love having hate sex.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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