Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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