even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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