Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
