is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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