Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry about my life...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize