Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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