Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
