I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
